


Perchance to Dream

by imaginary_golux



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Character Study, Dreams, Force-Sensitive Finn, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7095820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_golux/pseuds/imaginary_golux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Finn is in a coma, the Force presents him with some options.</p>
<p>Beta by my wonderful Best Beloved, Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perchance to Dream

Finn is standing in the middle of a desert. It stretches out around him on all sides, golden and barren and cruelly beautiful, and the sun beats down mercilessly from above. Finn chooses a direction purely at random and begins to walk, slogging through the dunes and swearing quietly to himself. He doesn’t quite remember how he got here, and he’d like to, so he can be sure not to do it again.

The hours drag by. Finn tries to keep count, for a while, and then begins to doubt himself, because by his approximation he has been walking for eighteen hours, and the sun has not moved, nor has any other living thing stirred the sand around him. Finn is beginning, even with his Stormtrooper enhancements and training, to feel the exhaustion. His throat is dry as a bone, and breathing hurts.

Another three hours pass, if Finn is counting correctly. He starts to stagger as he walks, just a little.

Another hour, and he is stumbling on every step, now, but he has not yet fallen.

Another hour, and he falls, gets up, goes on. Every step hurts. The sun is the very mouth of hell.

Another hour, and Finn falls again, finds himself on hands and knees in the scorching sand, spits sand from a dry mouth. He does not think he can get up.

“I will not die here,” he rasps, hoarse and furious, and shoves himself to his feet again, staggers forward on nothing but determination and rage -

And between one step and the next, the desert vanishes. He is wearing armor again, heavy and close-fitting and confining. A helmet covers his head, blocks his peripheral vision. The echoing corridors of a Star Destroyer close in around him. Somewhere behind him, Captain Phasma’s voice says, “Fall in, FN-2187.”

Finn’s weariness and thirst have vanished with the desert. He is young and strong and angry, and he turns and shoves Phasma out of the way as hard as he can and runs, feet echoing on the Star Destroyer’s metal floors, towards the TIE fighter bay and the possibility of freedom.

Behind him there are shouts of anger, and then Captain Phasma’s voice like the wrath of the gods: “FN-2187, report for reconditioning at once!”

Finn ignores her, turns down to dart down a side corridor, another, trying to lose himself in the maze of the Star Destroyer’s innards, but from every side comes the tromp of marching feet, squads upon squads of marching Stormtroopers moving to surround him.

Finn sees the double squad of Stormtroopers come around the corner in front of him, whirls to see another double squad behind him - he’s trapped, there’s nowhere to go, and if he does not give in he will be dead just as soon as the order to shoot is given -

He unholsters his blaster and snarls. “I will not be a Stormtrooper again,” he tells the blank unfeeling helmets that surround him. “Never again - I will die first -”

And he’s standing in the snow of Starkiller Base, trees falling everywhere around him, his back hurting like it’s been split open down to the bone, his own blood soaking his clothing and leaving him cold as death, a lightsaber in his hands. Before him, Kylo Ren holds out one gloved and empty hand.

“Come now,” he says coaxingly. “Give me the lightsaber and surrender, and I will heal you. I will keep you safe. You can leave this fight, which is not yours at all - I will give you safe passage to the other side of the galaxy, where no one will ever find you.”

Finn wavers on his feet. His back hurts worse than anything ever has, worse than anti-interrogation training, worse than dying in the desert sands. The lightsaber, which he knows is light and easy in his hand, feels like it weighs more with every second; already it is nearly too heavy to lift.

“Give in,” Kylo Ren says. “You know it belongs to me. Why should you die for strangers? I will take it as soon as you are dead anyway. And you will die soon, if you do not let me heal you.”

Finn sets his teeth against the pain, plants his feet in the shifting snow, and says, hoarse and hurting and angry down to his bones, “Come and get it, coward. I’m not dead yet.”

Kylo Ren’s face twists in fury and he steps forward and -

Finn is somewhere dark and cool and pleasant, and he is weary beyond words, weary as if he really did walk for a day across a desert and flee through a Star Destroyer and fight Kylo Ren again. Slip is there, too, holding Finn’s hand gently, and he’s tugging Finn deeper into the cool darkness.

“Just a little further,” he says, “and then we’ll both be able to rest, Eight-Seven. We’ll never have to worry about orders or pain or war again. Come on.”

Finn wants to go - he wants to lie down, to rest, to never again know fear or pain or worry. He glances behind him, though, and far away there’s a spot of light, like sunlight at the end of a tunnel. He tugs gently against Slip’s hand.

“What about my friends?” he asks. “What about Rey, and Poe, and Chewbacca, and BB-8?”

“They’ll all get here eventually,” Slip assures him. “We can wait. We’ve got forever.”

But - Finn can’t abandon his friends. He can’t. He pulls his hand out of Slip’s gentle clasp and turns around and takes a single step up towards the far-away light. It feels like he’s climbing a mountain, like he’s wearing a triple pack, and he is so tired - so very tired - it would be so easy to follow Slip down to the quiet darkness where Finn could finally rest -

“I won’t abandon them,” Finn says, and sets his shoulders against the weariness that threatens to overwhelm him and steps forward towards the light again, and again, and again -

Finn is lying on grass, cool and pleasant beneath him, with a broad blue sky above him. He sits up, wondering what horror this new world will put in front of him, and finds that he is on Takodana again, sitting on a hillside above the ruins of Maz Kanata’s castle. Or - not quite ruins. The building is being reconstructed even as he watches, people from every species imaginable working together to lift the stones back into place, to clear the rubble away and salvage what can be saved.

Maz, beside him, says, “So, you’ve come this far, young warrior.”

“I don’t understand,” Finn tells her.

Maz turns and squints at him from behind her absurd glasses. “You are strong in the Force,” she tells him gently. “Your body is badly wounded,” and Finn remembers, suddenly, the blow which laid him out, the lightsaber slicing his back open so terribly deep, and shudders. Maz pats him on the shoulder.

“Your body will heal,” she tells him, “because you have chosen not to die. As strong as you are, young warrior, I would not be surprised if you could begin to heal yourself, once you awaken from these dreams.”

“So you’re not real,” Finn says, much relieved. Maz snorts.

“What, just because I am in a dream you think I am not real? You walk in the Force, young warrior. It gives you choices, and because you have chosen your path, it sends you here to me for a little good advice before you wake again.”

“Chosen my path?” Finn asks, but he knows what she means. He has chosen not to die, either the hard way in the desert or the easy way in the cool darkness. He has chosen not to surrender, either to Phasma and the reconditioning which would make him Finn no longer, nor to Kylo Ren and the cowardice which would send him far from the war, to safety and dishonor. “My path - my place is at the side of my friends, standing against the Dark,” he tells Maz after a little thought, and Maz nods approvingly.

“So it is, young warrior, and you have a new weapon in your hand,” she tells him. “The Force flows in you as it does in your young friend, she of the fierce eyes. Can you feel it?”

Finn closes his eyes and leans back on his hands on the cool grass, and lets himself think about it. And - yes. All around him, there’s a thrumming, from the grass under his hands and the trees above his head and the earth that sustains them, from Maz beside him and the many people at the bottom of the hill and the stars dancing above him. It’s - it’s a _song_ , he realizes suddenly, a song with as many parts as there are living beings in the galaxy, a harmony so big he will never be able to hear all of it. And his note is part of it, too, a deep gentle tone that resonates in time with his heart, singing in concert with the grass and the stars.

He opens his eyes and grins at Maz. “Yes,” he says. “I feel it.”

“Remember that feeling,” Maz says solemnly. “Trust in the Force to guide you and to give you strength.”

“I will,” Finn says. Now that he’s _heard_ the music of the Force, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stop hearing it again. It thrums in the back of his mind, a constant reminder of the glories of the universe, and he suspects that it will be there forever. It’s a very comforting thought.

“And now, young warrior, it is time you woke up,” Maz says. “There are those who are waiting anxiously for your return.”

“Thank you,” Finn says, shaking her tiny hand.

Maz smiles until her whole face crinkles. “The Force be with you, young warrior.”

“And with you, my friend,” Finn says.

*

When he opens his eyes this time, it’s to a plain ceiling and the sound of medical monitors beeping all around him. He turns his head to see that Poe Dameron is slumped in a chair beside the bed Finn’s occupying, asleep in what looks like a deeply uncomfortable position. BB-8 is sitting beside Poe’s feet, and when Finn twitches a hand, the little droid’s head dome swivels around with an eager beep.

Poe flails and wakes up, meets Finn’s eyes and grins wide and beautiful. “Hey, buddy!” he says cheerfully. “You’re finally awake!”

“Yeah,” Finn says, listening to the Force thrum sweet and lovely through the universe. “Yeah, I finally am.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr! I am imaginarygolux.tumblr.com, and I don't quite know what I'm doing but please feel free to swing by and say hi or ask questions!


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